Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize