I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
