i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
