My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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