Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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