ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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