Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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