she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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