wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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