You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
