Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
