and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You pole danced in your parka.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
