I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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