Say something about gay babies.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
