i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Randomize
