guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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