she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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