no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
