Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
