Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
