you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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