life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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