I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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