i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
