I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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