do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
