maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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