Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
