I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
