btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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