Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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