i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
