hotel room ftw
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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