he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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