Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
