yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
