I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
