And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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