absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
