How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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