found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
