I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
