So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
