We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
