I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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