The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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