Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
