The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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