Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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