i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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