Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
