Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
