Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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