U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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