Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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