honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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