My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
