well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
