It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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