Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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