i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
