Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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