just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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