So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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