they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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